Wide awake
by aurora borealis1
Summary: Remus watches. Things get a little complicated. ****Warning! Slash!****
1. Default Chapter

A/N: Created one night when I couldn't fall asleep... Warning: Slash-implied. Please press the "Back"-button if you feel that you can't handle that/it offends you/you know that the result of reading this story will be that you flame me. Personally I think that Sirius/Remus is one of the best pairings there is.

This was originally just a poem. Therefore the actual action won't be very detailed.

By the way, I AM NOT SURE what colour Sirius' eyes really are. I just guessed. Please don't flame me if I got it wrong. (I hope not.)

Disclaimer: Not mine. If it was, I would have hooked up Ron and Hermione, and made Harry notice Ginny, not go around moping after Cho. As it is, I have a feeling J.K. Rowling does a better job than I would manage to do. (The fact that I'm 14 years old has absolutely nothing to do with it.) I just hope she won't get mad at me for what I did to them...

To summarise: I only own the plot and poem. So blah.

****

Wide awake

Remus tossed and turned in his bed, trying to settle down but not managing to. He sighed in defeat and stood up in search of a piece of paper and a quill. He began to write.

I'm lying here

in my four-poster bed

wide awake.

I'm looking over at you

there you lie in your bed

drapes wide open

sleeping peacefully.

Moonlight is shining on your face

creating shadows and highlights.

A lock of velvety-black hair is falling over your face

and I long to brush it back,

to tuck it behind your ear...

I wish I could fall asleep

but at the same time

I don't.

Now I can watch you peacefully

without being afraid of prying eyes

scrutinising me in turn.

I can watch your silky hair

your handsome features

and those lovely muscles you're so often showing off.

But I can't watch that charming smile

that always seems to tug on your lips

- even in sleep -

nor can I watch the feature I love the most -

your depthless blue eyes

so happy

but at the same time

so serious.

So many people

only see what you keep on the surface

Sirius the prankster

Padfoot the Marauder

Detention-record-maker and

heartbreaker.

But I see

what's under the surface too.

Sirius the serious

helper of friends

comrade

the one who helps me

when the wolf is too strong.

I know you didn't mean to

and you'll probably never know

but you're **my** heartbreaker too.

I'm lying in my bed

wide awake.

The moon is getting fuller.

I can feel the wolf stirring

inside of me.

****

You don't have the instincts of a wolf

lurking inside.

And that's why I lie here

watching you sleep peacefully

in your four poster bed

without being afraid

of prying eyes.

With no-one the wiser.

Remus looked down at the poem in his hands. '_Why is it that I always get my inspiration on the brink of sleep?' _he wondered idly to himself. With a last longing look at Sirius, he lay down in his bed again. This time he fell asleep almost immediately, and the parchment fluttered out of his grasp and down under his bed, forgotten.

***

The end?


	2. James finds out

A/N: Thanks to everybody who has reviewed. You guys are the best! ^_^  
  
I'm very sorry that this chapter - like the other one - is so short, and that it took so long before it got out. I was trying to "fatten it up" a bit, but I finally decided that it would be easier to just start a new chapter.  
  
  
  
Chapter two: James finds out.  
  
  
  
"Peter, have you seen my socks?" James asked frustrated. It was five minutes until breakfast, it had started to get cold, and he couldn't find his socks.  
  
"Why don't you take another pair?" Peter wondered.  
  
"I can't find them either," James sighed. "Oh! There's one!" He snatched the yellow sock up, and looked wildly around. "Now all I have to do is find another one..."  
  
"You could always borrow some of mine," Peter suggested, looking dubiously at the Snitches that zoomed around on the sock James held, clashing horribly with the background. James gave him a Look. "What?" Peter asked indignantly. "What's so bad about my socks?"  
  
"Peter," James sighed, "your socks are covered with rodents. That's just not my style."  
  
"As if you're so much better, you Quidditch fanatic," Peter retorted. James grinned.  
  
"Let's check under the beds." He bent down, looking under his own. There was a small clutter of broken quills, Chocolate Frogs, Quidditch magazines and other odds and ends, but alas, no socks. He shrugged and turned to Remus' bed. It was the day after a full moon, and Remus was staying up in the Hospital wing trying to recover from some cuts he had inflicted on himself before his friends had made it up to the Shrieking Shack. Sirius had already been sent down to the Great Hall in the hope that the food might distract him from Remus being up in the Hospital Wing - again. Besides, he was a ravenous little doggy.  
  
Which left James and Peter to look after his socks.  
  
"Found one!" Peter shouted happily, showing a purple sock with broomsticks on it up to James.  
  
James wrinkled his nose. "Purple and yellow?"  
  
"Oh, come on," Peter said. "It's not like you're going to show your feet to anybody... Unless you're going to meet Lily later, of course." He winked at James, who blushed a deep red.  
  
"Never mind," he said quickly. He bent one last time to look after the other yellow sock, and his eyes fell on a parchment lying under Remus's very neat bed. He frowned and picked it up, reading it.  
  
"What is it?" Peter asked, curiously.  
  
"What?" James turned towards him again, shoving the parchment into his pocket. "Oh, nothing, just something I lost..." Peter rolled his eyes.  
  
"What a surprise," he said, his voice laced with irony. "What was it? An assignment from last week?"  
  
"No, no, nothing like that," James said, thinking fast. "It was...well...something for Lily...." He blushed again, as he always did when someone - including himself - mentioned the redheaded Gryffindor.  
  
"I didn't know you were in for it *that* deep!" Peter exclaimed, causing James to blush harder. "Seriously, writing love letters... Geez...." Peter muttered on as he led the way down the staircase to the Common Room.  
  
James breathed a sigh of relief behind him, thinking that he had to have a serious talk with Remus as soon as he got better.  
  
  
  
************  
  
  
  
Remus was lying in what had become his personal bed in the Hospital wing, boring himself to death. He knew every crack in the ceiling - which he was convinced was there for the benefit of the sick students - like the back of his hand; the result of lying in the same bed a few days a month for five years. It had become quite boring to count the cracks, since he lately had managed to get the same number at the end every time he did it. He wondered when someone would come up with his homework, and as if on cue, he could hear James talking to madam Pomfrey outside.  
  
"I've come to see Remus. I've brought his homework."  
  
"Of course, dear. I guess you know the way."  
  
"Yeah. Thanks." A moment later James appeared in the doorway to his room. "Hi," he said, coming in and sitting down on one of the beds.  
  
"Hi," Remus said, smiling a bit tiredly. "I was wondering when one of you would show up." He grabbed the Chocolate Frogs box James handed him, offered the other boy one and then popped another one into his own mouth.  
  
"Thanks," James said, munching on his Frog. "You're lucky; we only got homework in Charms and that's only reading a new chapter."  
  
"Yay," Remus said, not too enthusiastically. He had been disappointed that he'd miss a Defence against the Dark Arts lesson, and had almost hoped that they would get homework from it. He *liked* DADA.  
  
"Cheer up, I've heard that we're going to have about Boggarts next lesson," James said, sensing his friend's disappointment.  
  
"Oh? But didn't we have those last year?"  
  
"Yeah, but then we didn't get to *meet* a Boggart," James said with a grin. "We only had about them in theory."  
  
"We're going to have a Boggart in class?" Remus pulled himself up a little in his bed. "Cool!"  
  
"Yeah." They sat there for a while in silence, each chewing on their respective Frogs. James seemed to be deep in thought.  
  
"What is it?" Remus asked at last, not bearing the silence any longer.  
  
"Huh?" James shook himself out of his reverie.  
  
"What are you thinking about?"  
  
"Oh.nothing," James avoided Remus' eyes and rummaged in his pocket.  
  
"Prongs." Remus sighed.  
  
"Really.it's nothing."  
  
"Tell me what it is."  
  
James took a deep breath. "Well.This morning when I was looking for my socks-" Remus snorted and refrained himself from uttering a witty remark. "- I found.well. this." James handed Remus a piece of parchment. Suddenly Remus felt a chill, and his mind went numb.  
  
"Oh," he whispered, not managing to produce anything else. He didn't have to look at the parchment to know exactly what James had found.  
  
"It lay under your bed," James explained.  
  
"Oh," Remus said again. He could feel James' eyes on him. "Did you.tell any of the others?" He didn't even have to ask if James had read his poem; that was obvious.  
  
"No."  
  
"Good." Remus had trouble breathing.  
  
"Remus."  
  
"What?!" he exploded. Then he rubbed his eyes and sighed. "Sorry. Didn't mean to yell at you. I guess I'm a little tired."  
  
James only shrugged. "Do you want me to go?"  
  
"Yeah. Maybe that's best." Remus had his eyes closed and could only hear James get up from his chair and walking over to the door. "Wait," he said. James stopped.  
  
"What is it?" His tone was surprisingly gentle. Remus looked up at him.  
  
"Nothing," he sighed and turned over to face the wall. He could hear James walking over to the bed again and sitting down. He didn't say anything for a long time. Remus ignored him.  
  
"Why didn't you tell us?" James' voice was low and calm, but Remus could feel that he suppressed the urge to yell. "You knew we didn't care about the fact that you're a werewolf, why would we care that you're gay?" Remus turned over to stare at him angrily.  
  
"What did you want me to say?" he retorted, not trying to hide the heat in his voice. "Hi, I'm very happy that you don't mind that I'm inhuman. By the way, I'm in love with one of you. I hope that's okay too." His friend somehow managed to ignore the dark sarcasm.  
  
"Well, it's better than hiding it all the time!" James was starting to lose control over his voice.  
  
"Why? He would *hate* me if he knew!" No need for an explanation to who "he" was. James understood right away.  
  
"Christ, Moony! Why do you think he runs after *girls* all the time?!"  
  
"Oh, I don't know," Remus said, spitting sarcasm and bitterness. "Maybe because he's *horny*?"  
  
"Argh!" James shouted, his arms flying up in exasperation. "You're both so incredibly *stupid*!" And with that, he strode out of the Hospital wing before madam Pomfrey could yell at him for disturbing her patients.  
  
Remus waited until he was sure no one would come in to check on him before he let his tears fall.  
  
___________________________________________________ 


End file.
